So tonight is the first time in almost 3 months that I have been left alone with my son. My husband and sister wanted to go catfishing and they were going to wait until Nathan fell asleep but the little boy just wouldn't give it up so I finally just told them to go. I kind of have felt like the fun crusher the past few months and I figure we'll take baby steps back to recovery and to me being able to take care of my son again.
Fortunately he fell asleep before they pulled out of the driveway, I just get so nervous that something will happen and I won't be able to help him. The last time my husband left, Nathan got stuck behind the couch while trying to retrieve a toy. My sister was home fortunately and I woke her up to fish him out. I just hope he doesn't pull any shenanigans tonight and that he really is asleep!
Post-partum recovery is about as good as it probably can be. My last steri strip fell off tonight (actually I helped it fall off because I was tired of looking at the one random strip in the middle of my belly). My scar doesn't look too bad actually. I am surprised. It's huge. Way bigger than anybody else's I have seen. It must be 7 inches long, but I have heard that they shrink down as they heal. It grosses me out that I can feel the stitches they put in my muscle through my skin. And if I pull my skin tight I can see a huge lump where the stitches knots are. But that should get better as they dissolve if I understand correctly. My pain has been pretty good too. I have been off my pain pills completely for several days now which I am glad for. I am finally down to just one pill a day (my prenatal) as opposed to the 30 pills a day (no joke) they had me taking when I left the hospital. I must have spent an hour a day trying to choke down pills. Although I was usually able to avoid a few of those pills by skipping pain pills when I could.
Today was a pretty good day. I was able to get a lot done around the house with minimal pain and took a little trip to Walmart with David. I know it's lame but it is nice to get out and have a little alone time with him once and awhile. My sister spends more time with him alone lately and I am getting antsy for some hubby time!
I got the pictures and some vi
deo footage from Noah's funeral today. It took me awhile to get the strength to pop in the disc. I had already seen most of the photos thanks to Facebook but there were a few in there that I hadn't seen. It was hard to look at them again, but also encouraging to know how far I have come in just 2 short weeks. I have to thank my husband for his constant encouragement through this. He is confident of Noah's purpose on this earth. And he reminds me daily that our little boy's life was not a waste,and also reminds me of my strength when I'm just not feeling it. It's so wonderful 
to have such a supportive husband who can build me up so much.
I really am looking forward to getting the pictures from the photographer, I pray that she captured at least one image that I can have enlarged and hang on my wall that will actually look nice, and not be a sad picture to look at, or make guests feel uncomfortable. I still have about 2-4 weeks to wait though.
Well, I should sign off. Need to hop in the shower and head to bed. Apparently the apartment manager is coming tomorrow between 8 and 5 (don't you just love how specific they are?) and that means I need to be up and have all of the under-sink ares cleaned out by 8 because they need to check for a water leak. Lucky me!!
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth—everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made (Isaiah 43:6-7).
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